It was New Year's Eve and I was staying overnight at a friend's house.  While I was sleeping, my cousin, Joannie, visited me as she was departing from Earth for the last time.  The whole experience lasted only a moment - seemingly at the speed of light - but slowly enough for me to understand what Joannie came to tell me.

 There was a very bright, vivid orange light that surrounded Joannie's face.  She only had a face - no body in this vision - and she was smiling radiantly.  We communicated telepathically and she told me that she just died and was coming to tell me goodbye, that she loved me, and that everything is as it should be. 

Being way too nosy and curious, I asked her why she is saying goodbye to me but not her children, but she told me not to question that.

I also confessed that I didn't know she loved me because we barely knew each other on earth. (Although she was close with my mother, her first cousin.)  She told me that she did love me and that I was special.

She conveyed that she only had a moment before being whisked away to her eternal destination and to just accept what she had to tell me and be open to her and this experience.  She conveyed that she was taking a detour specifically to come and visit me and she needed me to listen.  

She told me the life she just left was her last life, her last reincarnation, and that she is going to God now forever.  She also told me that everything is as it should be.

She couldn't stay any longer, but I couldn't help myself and tried to get more information; I was starting to realize the profundity of this encounter and asked her if her religious beliefs on earth were correct and what happens during the afterlife. She just repeated that everything is as it should be, conveying that there is a structure and purpose and love to the universe - that it's not all chaos, random chance, bereft of meaning.  But she couldn't stay any longer - she was being pulled away from earth now and was going to her final place.  Her soul's lifetimes of work was done and the end is beautiful and right.

I "woke up" after she left to look at the clock beside the bed.  It was 1:00 a.m. New Year's Day. I checked the time because I wanted to test if Joannie really had died and if so, at what time.

After I awoke later that morning and drove home, I entered my house to my mother crying.  I had forgotten the "dream" before then, but from seeing my mother, I remembered it.  "Joannie died last night", my mother told me.  The scientist in me, still not completely convinced about my experience asked, "What time did she die?"  My mother told me Joannie died at 1:00 a.m. that morning.  I then told my mother what happened.  She was very supportive and completely believed me.

I frequently draw on this experience to get me through rough times.  I felt secure and confident when my grandfather died that he was in a good and safe place and that death didn't negate his existence; it simply modified it.  Also, during times of struggle and pain, I remember Joannie telling me that everything is as it should be and I feel like there is meaning to my suffering.  I believe I was given a gift from Joannie, for which I am ever grateful.

Did you sense an awareness or presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them ?  No
       
Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?  Yes
      Describe:  We communicated telepathically - we were talking our thoughts to each other.  She told me she loved me, that this was her last life/last reincarnation, and that everything is as it should be.
      Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally, or outside of you, inside of you, or did you not hear a voice or sound but had a knowing of what was communicated?  A sense of knowing.  It was like telepathy.

      If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar to the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?  Dissimilar.  They were the sounds of thoughts.  Not like a real auditory event, but just like how when you're thinking really quickly.  Who's voice is that?  It doesn't sound like your own spoken voice; it's just thoughts.  It was like that.

      How clearly did you hear the deceased?  Very clearly.

      Is there any possibility that what you heard was from any other source in the surroundings at the time of your experience?  No, because it wasn't a sound like vibrations of the air hitting my eardrum.

      Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?  No.

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?  No

Did you see the deceased?  Yes

      Describe the appearance of the deceased:  It was her face only, not her body, and she was surrounded by a very bright orange light.  Her face looked like it looked just before she became ill.

      How clearly did the deceased appear?  I guess I'd say solid, but not like matter -  I just couldn't see behind her. I knew that she was pure energy just appearing to me in a form that was familiar to me for my benefit.  I did wonder what the orange was.  Perhaps it was her aura, but I don't know anything about auras so I couldn't really say.

      How much of the deceased did you see?  Her face only.

      Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?  About a year before she died, before she became ill.

      How healthy did the deceased appear to be?  When she was ill, she was very pale and thin.  This face was full and round, healthy and not pale.  It was her face before she became ill.

      Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in your surroundings at the time of your experience?  No.

Did you smell a distinct smell, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?  No

How long did the experience last?  Probably one or two seconds.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?  Beginning was sudden.  She just appeared, I guess.  I just remember seeing her.  I don't remember the moment before seeing her.  The ending was sudden, too, but she told me she was leaving.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?  She seemed peaceful, happy, fulfilled.  Not scared.
      Describe:  She seemed peaceful, happy, fulfilled.  Not scared.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  She told me she loved me.  I didn't know that before because we weren't close.  She told me this was her last reincarnation, which I didn't know before.  She told me the universe has meaning, purpose, love, which I had hoped for but didn't know.  She told me everything is as it should be, which was a new perspective for me.

Your beliefs immediately prior to the experience regarding your fear of death:  Very fearful

Your beliefs currently regarding the possibility you could communicate with the deceased:  Believed it definitely could happen

Your beliefs currently regarding your fear of death:  Slightly fearful

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:  Experience was definitely real

What did you feel (while awake) immediately prior to your experience?
      Relaxed
 
Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:  I didn't have many emotions.  It happened too quickly to have much of a response. I had more emotions following the experience.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?  Yes
      Describe:  She told me I was special.  She loved me.  That was surprisingly very comforting.  I also felt reassured about life continuing after death.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?  Yes
      Describe:  It confirmed my belief in reincarnation.

Have you ever made a death compact?  Uncertain
      Describe:  One person told me he would visit me with some song Moonbeams and Polkadots when he died.  He's still alive, but we don't have contact any longer.  I still never heard of that song.

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?  Yes
      Describe:  I have predicted 2 car accidents in vivid detail.  When a third vision occurred, of myself in a car accident, I avoided driving on the possible dates it could occur (my vision "said" it would occur in the first 2 weeks of January, on 590 S near the Penfield Rd exit, on a Saturday night, it would be raining, and close to midnight, in my Mercury Lynx car.  I would hit black ice and crash into the cement that holds up the bridge.  Either it never happened because I avoided those conditions or because it really wasn't a vision. 

The first two visions came true, though.

Was the experience dream like in any way?  Uncertain
      Describe:  It started while I was sleeping, but I believe she woke me up and I wasn't sleeping during it.  I believe I was in a different state of consciousness.  The only way it was dreamlike was the telepathy part of it insofar that no real talking/using our mouths was occurring.

Did you experience a separation of consciousness from your body? No
      Describe:  I think I was still in my body.  I never questioned this, so I guess that means that I was in my body.

 Did you see a light?  Yes

      Describe:  Bright orange surrounded her.

 Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?  No

 Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?  Yes

      Describe:  I verified that Joannie indeed died at 1:00 A.M. that day. 

 Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?  Uncertain

      Describe:  In a way, it felt like outer space was "right around the corner" for Joannie. It was so close to me, too, but I couldn't touch it, but it was pulling her into itself.

 Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Yes

      Describe:  Yes!!  We had a "conversation" that normally would take at least 2 or 3 minutes that lasted only a second or two, if that.

 Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?  Yes

      Describe:  I felt like Joannie made a special effort to give this information to me.  Information that the universe is purposeful, ordered, and loving.  That there is life after death. That there is reincarnation.

Did you become aware of future events?  Uncertain

      Describe:  I've had visions of car accidents both before and after my experience with Joannie.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?  Yes

      Describe:  I don't attribute this to my experience, but twice after this experience, when I was working as a massage therapist, I was able to visualize the setting in which my client was injured as a child.  While I was touching the part of the body that had been injured, I could see the setting.  When I described my vision to one client, she confirmed that what I saw actually happened.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?  Yes

      Describe:  Mainly just confirmation.

 Has the experience affected your relationships?  Daily life?  Religious practices etc.?  Career choices?  I draw upon it during rough times.  It helps get me through suffering when I believe there is a meaning behind it.

 Have you shared this experience with others?  Yes

      Describe:  I've told my mother, grandmother, my partner, and Joannie's mother - my aunt.  They have all believed me.  It brought a tear to my aunt's eyes.  I waited awhile after Joannie died before I told her.  I guess because it just didn't feel right to tell her before I did.  I told her when the time was right.  I don't know how I determined when that was, but I just knew when it arrived.  I also just recently shared this experience with Dr. Jan Holden .

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?  Yes
      Describe:  Yesterday I submitted on Bill Guggenheim's site.  Dr. Jan Holden gave me your site's address as well as information to get to Bill's site.

 What emotions/feelings did you experience following your experience?  Calm.  I went to her funeral not sad because I knew Joannie really wasn't dead. I felt badly for her mother and children, though.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?  The worst part was that she didn't have the time to answer all my questions. The best part is just being given the information and the love she gave me.  I feel honored.